A NEW interpretation of the Bible suggests that God did not create the Earth, but stumbled upon it while looking for a magazine.
SCIENTISTS have discovered the world's first Guardian-reading spider and are already bored of its never-ending torrent of opinions about everything.
RUSSELL Brand is having furtive, unsatisfying sex with you right now, it has emerged.
SEARCH engine giant Google has opened trials of GoogleFrot, a new application designed to create a global network of simultaneous groin-rubbing.
THERE were fresh demands last night for the rest of the world's clowns to be fired into orbit immediately.
SCIENTISTS have claimed that the moon could support middle-class life forms after the discovery of a crater containing a Pizza Express and an excellent primary school.
A MANNED mission to Swindon touched down successfully last night near the town's factory outlet village.
ROBOTS who dislike foreigners and other people's cats are being sold as companions for the elderly.
ENTIRE cities are to be moved and species made extinct to correspond with what it says on Wikipedia, it was confirmed last night.
A NEW interpretation of the Bible suggests that God did not create the Earth, but stumbled upon it while looking for a magazine.
SCIENTISTS have discovered the world's first Guardian-reading spider and are already bored of its never-ending torrent of opinions about everything.
RUSSELL Brand is having furtive, unsatisfying sex with you right now, it has emerged.
SEARCH engine giant Google has opened trials of GoogleFrot, a new application designed to create a global network of simultaneous groin-rubbing.
THERE were fresh demands last night for the rest of the world's clowns to be fired into orbit immediately.
SCIENTISTS have claimed that the moon could support middle-class life forms after the discovery of a crater containing a Pizza Express and an excellent primary school. 
A MANNED mission to Swindon touched down successfully last night near the town's factory outlet village.
ROBOTS who dislike foreigners and other people's cats are being sold as companions for the elderly.
ENTIRE cities are to be moved and species made extinct to correspond with what it says on Wikipedia, it was confirmed last night.