Science & Technology News
'God particle' does not believe in God
13-12-11
THE particle named after God last night stressed it was not religious in any way.
Alcohol leads to pointless academic research
13-12-11
SCIENTISTS are 100% more likely to state the obvious while drunk, it has emerged.
Cloning a mammoth is a shit idea, say experts
12-12-11
PLANS to clone a woolly mammoth have been dismissed as incredibly stupid and shit.
Inventor of driverless car 'inspired by dream of masturbating in back seat of moving vehicle'
08-12-11
AS self-driving vehicles become a reality, their creator has revealed he was inspired by the notion of being able to masturbate while travelling on a busy road.
'New Earth' probably full of arseholes
06-12-11
THE 'New Earth' has a temperate climate, liquid water and is probably
teeming with unbearable arseholes, scientists have claimed.
Is this the best stick ever?
25-11-11
A STICK picked up on a cycle path near Stoke may be the finest ever found, it has been claimed.
Mars rover is new must-have middle class car
24-11-11
NASA'S redesigned Mars rover is the new status symbol for middle class Britain.
Leaked climate emails force carbon dioxide to resign
23-11-11
CARBON dioxide has resigned from being a gas, it has been confirmed.
Even darker version of internet 'sounds delightful'
23-11-11
THE notion of a so-called 'darknet' has confounded those who were sure the normal internet represented the very depths of human depravity.
