BUILDING a time machine to take us back 18 months would have been cheaper than the multi-billion pound bank bail out, it was claimed last night.
BEBO is sending messages from its users 120 trillion miles into space in the expectation aliens will prove as shallow and self-obsessed as they are.
THE inventor of the internet last night dramatically revealed he had completely missed the point of the internet.
THE brains of taxi drivers have an inbuilt natural ability to bore the shit out of you, according to new research.
HOSPITALS were struggling to cope last night as rival Facebook gangs fought running battles across a dozen British towns and cities.
SUPERSTAR DJ Fatboy slim bears no resemblance whatsoever to his father-in-law, it was confirmed last night.
GRAMMAR enthusiasts which point out everyday errors are much fewer interesting compared than normal people, according to researchers.
THE International Space Station has gone crazy and all the astronauts are in mortal danger, NASA confirmed last night.
PRINCE Charles has demanded a ban on genetically modified crops after the latest attempt on his life by an enormous piece of fruit.
