ALL luggage checked-in at Heathrow airport is to be thrown onto a giant roulette wheel in a bid to increase its chances of arriving at the correct destination. 

MOBILE phone giant Nokia has pledged to make pocket maps obsolete with the launch of a map that fits in your pocket.

A BRITISH designer has unveiled plans for a pair of hypersonic  boots which will enable the wearer to walk from Europe to Australia in less than 10 seconds while remaining totally invisible.

APPLE boss Steve Jobs yesterday unveiled the computer giant's latest eye-catching innovation: one of his shits in a simple white box.

SCIENTISTS in the US last night claimed they had created a ‘supercarrot’ with a top speed of nearly 770 mph.

IN five years time everything you buy will be much smaller and cost a great deal more money, Microsoft chairman Bill Gates has confirmed.

GOOGLE is to create its own internet encyclopaedia in a bid to corner the growing market for online bollocks.

HUMAN evolution is speeding up but most people are still genetically unable to keep their fucking mouths shut while watching a film, scientists said last night.