THE inventor of the world wide web has unveiled a new website which could eventually reveal the precise reason why Britain is no longer a suitable habitat for human beings.
BUDGET cuts will mean Britain's universities will no longer be able to teach young people how to read newspapers and smile at tourists, it was claimed last night.
A SPECIAL working class-themed private school has been established for the children of Labour MPs worried about social inequality.
CLASS 4B last night said it cannot wait to meet David Cameron's new breed of unbreakable super-teachers.
SCOTLAND has woken up on the sofa, drenched in its own urine for the fifth time since Boxing Day.
NICK Clegg has renewed his attack on Gina Ford, claiming the popular baby mechanic looks like fat Nazi Herman Goering.
BRITAIN'S new drugs czar has claimed that cannabis can make dub reggae enjoyable for white people.
AS studies showed mobile phones can fight Alzheimer's Disease, doctors last night urged people to call their grandparents before they go mental.