CHILDREN in the UK are now outnumbered by ageing psychopaths who devour every word of the Daily Mail, new figures reveal.
AN evil mastermind has offered £2 million for the missing memory stick containing the details of thousands of Britain's finest criminals.
THE temporary euphoria of Britain's Olympic success came to an abrupt halt this morning as millions of commuters remembered what an unmitigated shithole this country really is.
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