TYPICAL household goods including monocle grease and penny farthing oil have been removed from the basket of items used to measure inflation.
MILLIONS of people across Britain last night vowed to give up food instead of alcohol, after the government forced them to choose.
SCHOOL leavers will be forced to swear allegiance to some stinking old cow even though they have never even met her or nothing.
Get the latest Mash headlines with this RSS doo-da:
