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SUPPORT GROWS FOR RETRO FALKLANDS WAR
18-02-10

ImageA MAJORITY of Britons would support a retro, 80s-style war with Argentina, especially if it was narrated by Stuart Maconie, it emerged last night.

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MI5 HAS BEEN TRYING TO KEEP THINGS SECRET, SAYS JUDGE
11-02-10

ImageBRITAIN'S top judge has accused the secret service of trying to keep everything a big secret.

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BIN LADEN DESERVES A HEFTY FINE, SAYS CHERIE BLAIR
04-02-10

ImageOSAMA Bin Laden would find himself at the sharp end of a £200 fine if he was tried in a British court, Cherie Blair said last night.

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DO '45 MINUTES', FANS TELL BLAIR
29-01-10

ImageFANS of Tony Blair are today looking forward to a selection of his greatest hits, including Saddam Hussein Was a Horrible Man and the classic show-stopper 45 Minutes.

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ARMY SNIPERS GET THANK-YOU LETTER FROM JESUS
20-01-10

ImageAMERICAN and British soldiers who take down Taleban fighters with a single shot have received thank you letters from Jesus, it emerged last night.

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ARMY TO BE MADE UP OF MYTHICAL CREATURES BY 2016
18-01-10

ImageDEFENCE cuts could see Britain's armed forces being made up of Minotaurs, winged horses and nightmarish un-dead demons from Hellraiser, according to a new report.

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DON'T SUPPOSE YOU'VE SEEN BIN LADEN? ASKS FBI
15-01-10

ImageTHE FBI has issued computer generated images of what Osama Bin Laden would look like now, just in case you have seen him and not realised.

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GOOGLE AND CHINA IN BATTLE TO ENSLAVE YOU
14-01-10

ImageTHE last great battle of our time was underway last night as Google and China began fighting for control of every living thing on the face of the Earth.

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STOP AND SEARCH TO BE REPLACED WITH GOOD, OLD-FASHIONED VIOLENCE
13-01-10

ImageBRITAIN'S police could once again be able to kick the bejesus out of terror suspects after stop and search powers were declared illegal by some communist homosexuals.

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