Celebrity

William goes into 'tyrant mode'

PRINCE William has lapsed into behaving like a 16th century tyrant during his tour of Australia.

William only meant that shawl was dreadful

PRINCE William only asked a New Zealand woman to make another baby shawl because the first one was so shit.

Prince George told to get used to this shit

PRINCE George has has his first taste of the lifetime of tribal dances and military parades stretching out before him.

What about Keith f*cking Richards? Nigella asks America

NIGELLA Lawson has asked the US how come she gets barred but Keith Richards wanders in and out like he owns the place.

Prince George now a healthy young spaniel

PRINCE George has grown into a bouncing, bright-eyed cocker spaniel, new pictures have revealed.

Celebrity marriage doesn't fail

GWYNETH Paltrow and Chris Martin's marriage has succeeded in a splitting up kind of way, they have announced.

Hawking admits quantum gambling habit

STEPHEN Hawking has made millions by using quantum theory in gambling, he has revealed.

Vague feeling of emptiness over death of utter lunatic

PEOPLE have been left feeling vaguely unsatisfied following the death of a stark raving madman.