Celebrity
Celebrity culture rises defiant from ashes of London
THE new Celebrity Big Brother house has emerged like a glorious phoenix from England's shattered capital.
William gives Kate a blonde wig
PRINCE William has continued creeping out the entire nation by giving his new wife a 1980s-style blonde wig.
Wills dumps Kate for bum-shaped love nut
THE Duke of Cambridge has abandoned his wife after bonding with an erotically-shaped coconut, it has emerged.
People still discussing how much they don’t care about Harper Beckham
BRITAIN’S tosspots are still chattering away about their total disinterest in David Beckham’s new range of child.
Duchess of Cambridge to eat an entire moose
THE Duchess of Cambridge will continue her tour of Canada today by devouring a gigantic moose.
Clooney dumps model for distracting him from allotment
SCREEN icon George Clooney split from Elisabetta Canalis because she kept distracting from his vegetable patch, it has emerged.
Joss Stone murder plot not some weird dream
THE alleged plot to kill Joss Stone with a sword is not one of those dreams you keep having, it emerged last night.
Sean Bean beatified by Northerners
DRESSING-up hardman Sean Bean has taken a crucial step towards becoming the North of England's first living saint.