NEW projections that London will be reclaimed by the sea have been greeted enthusiastically by the rest of the country.
DOGS around the UK are determined not to lose it this year when the banging starts.
FISH from around the globe are being brought to the UK and forced to eat human foot tissue in sleazy 'spas'.
BLASTING leaves with a handheld air cannon is surprisingly frustrating, it has been claimed.
THE nation is to be plunged into darkness because of about a dozen people who still deliver milk or grow things.
WOMEN should feel empowered to remove poisonous False Widow spiders from the bath, according to men.
THE government cull may switch to cats as badgers are quite hard to kill.
AN aggressive-looking dog has dismissed its owner's claims that it would never bite anyone.