Environment

Courgette famine yet to claim first victim

NOBODY has starved to death so far despite a desperate lack of courgettes reaching British shores.

Everyone moaning about snow whether they’ve had any or not

HEAVY snow or hardly any snow are both a great excuses for a massive whine, the UK population has confirmed.

Lobster can't believe he ended up in bloody Lidl

A LOBSTER is dismayed to have ended up in the frozen food section of Lidl, he has confirmed.

Met Office thanks your dad for Facebook weather updates

THE Met Office has thanked your dad for keeping people up-to-date with the weather via Facebook.

Scotland to experience first-ever bout of bad weather

SCOTLAND is preparing to experience bad weather for the first time in its history.

Sheep actually full of radical opinions

MANY sheep have extreme political views, it has emerged.

Cat acting hard because he is outside

A CAT is acting tough because of being outside.

Normal-sized rat spotted

A RAT that is 'the size of a normal rat' has been sighted.