Ask Holly: It has been a mental few days but now I am back in my cage

20-10-16

Dear Holly,

It has been a mental few days but now I am back in my cage and pretty chilled. Aside from the delicious Ribena, I’ve decided I don’t want any part of the so-called ‘free world’. Give me a depressing iron enclosure and a pile of faeces to play with any day over that living hell you humans have to deal with. Any chance of some more Ribena?

Kumbuka

London

holly2111111Dear Kumbuka,

Only bad mothers give their children Ribena. That’s what my friend Sophie’s mum says. She says she’s not judging, but anyone who doesn’t feed their children a rainbow of organic vegetables everyday is an abusive parent. Also, if you let your child play on an iPad or watch the TV you should seriously consider your reasons for having children in the first place. I told my mum all about what Sophie’s mum said. Mummy did some loud swearing about Sophie’s mum and drank quite a lot of her own special Ribena and I had to go and watch Spongebob Squarepants.

Hope that helps,

Holly

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