Ask Holly: There's a load of meat in the fridge that desperately needs someone hairy

10-08-17

Dear Holly,

My husband and I separated last year and we planned to get a divorce, but suddenly I am not so sure. Whilst I have thoroughly enjoyed being able to watch Poldark naked in a nice tidy home void of beer burps, I am really getting desperate for someone to take the bins out and there’s a load of meat in the fridge that desperately needs someone hairy and completely lacking in culinary skills to BBQ it until it tastes of soot. Should we get back together?

Angelina

Lowestoft 

Dear Angelina,

When I grow up I am going to get married to myself. I know that isn’t legal just now, but considering how far we have come in modern society, who is to say that in 15 years it won’t be perfectly acceptable to marry yourself, or a tin of beans or even an abstract noun? You may laugh at my naïveté, but when was the last time you saw a tin of beans leaving the toilet seat up?

Hope that helps

Holly

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