Agony Aunt

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

"How do I find out his yearly salary so I can decide if being crushed by a sweaty walrus is worth it?"

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

"I intend to break into his house, put on Alive and Kicking by Simple Minds at full volume, tie him to a chair with pretty tartan ribbon and then force feed him haggis until he bursts."

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

"First, and most important, you need at least one three-litre bottle of cheap cider."

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

"Will my statutory consumer rights be affected if I stab a checkout lady in the face?"

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

"I panicked and ended up telling her I wanted to blast my hot man juice all over her lovely long neck."

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

"I was thinking perhaps my profile needs work and I possibly shouldn't mention my tiny gnarled penis and my love of garrotting."

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
Now Christmas is over, my husband has lost his festive cheer and has gone back to his usual, miserable self...

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
The Archbishop of Canterbury got it right in his speech this year when he said "everyone in the UK is a total arsehole".