Agony Aunt

Life can be tough for a superstar racing driver with wads of cash

You don't know the meaning of the word 'cruel' until you have spent a few hours with pre-pubescent school girls.

I need a refresher course in the Scottish tongue

The only Scottish person I know is that ginger girl from Woolly and Tig on CBeebies.

I am on the hunt for new ways of getting high

Drink three raspberry Slush Puppies then sit back and enjoy the ride.

Can you suggest a guilt-free snack to keep me going at work?

You can't even bribe a rogue dinner lady to give you a plate of chips anymore.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Remember, skinny doesn't feel as good as pork scratchings taste.

I plan to give my wife a good interrogating

Mummy says Newsnight is a boring programme.

I wished for an endless supply of Walkers crisps

I’m afraid your deal wasn’t with a genie, but with the Devil.

Should I get a swastika tattooed on my face?

I'm supposed to be the biggest badass in One Direction.