If someone has done something naughty, I always recommend writing letters to both Santa and Jesus.
You should hide in the wardrobe and listen in.
You might find the entire class is suddenly aware of your dreadful bum problems.
Everyone at school is desperate for the teachers' strike to happen so that we get free holidays too.
You'll still have plenty of fun writing rude words on the kitchen cupboards with a Sharpie.
I hadn't heard of any of them except Cherie Blair and she's not at all pretty.
You start off with a few Ribenas and next thing you know, you're offering Brown Owl a head massage.
Free school dinners are like free dog turds.