Agony Aunt

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

'Her other kids are called Scrooge, Rumplestiltskin, Black Beauty and Thomas the Tank Engine.'

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
I was doing a bit of weeding in the garden this weekend, and as I was crouching by the fence, I realised I could overhear the conversation of our next door neighbours.

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
My boyfriend of 3 weeks has just asked me to marry him. Even though I still don't know his middle name, and I've only seen his pee-pee once.

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
I've developed a really embarrassing problem related to my anal region.

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

'Now my beard has grown in thick and full, I reckon I look fine but my husband doesn't agree.'

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

'The fat girl in our class, Frances Hall, is always good to have around due to her superior strength and ability to block doorways.'

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
One of my so-called 'friends' has apparently been slagging me off on Facebook and Twitter and I'm not willing to let her get away with it.

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

'I'm going to have to find someone else to impregnate me with the next messiah and commence the decimation of the human race'.