Agony Aunt

Ask Holly: They won't be laughing when these tiny paws press the nuclear button

SOMETIMES small hands come in useful, for example when you are trying to pick the lock of the staffroom door.

Ask Holly: Since stepping down as UKIP leader I've been toying with pimping myself out

I LOVE reality TV, especially the gritty fly-on-the-wall documentary series about a young female pig called Peppa.

Should Fiona Bruce's eyebrows be on my list of what's wrong with Britain?

DEAR Holly, I'm just perfecting my leadership manifesto, where I am going to tackle the five ills of 21st Century Britain. Yours, Jeremy Corbyn

Dear Holly, I find myself at rather a loose end...

Dear Holly, Suddenly, I find myself at rather a loose end. Any suggestions for filling the time? Yours, Sir John Chilcot

Ask Holly: I've realised that I am the Greatest Living Evil Genius in the World

THE grown-ups have suddenly become obsessed with the news and are hogging all the devices.

Ask Holly: Farage or Beckham?

LIFE would be a lot simpler if the Queen made all our decisions for us.

Ask Holly: We're going to put on a massive concert to end Nigel Farage - Do you think we can pull it off?

If Brexit happens the British people will no longer have access to Nutella or Toblerone or Ferrero Rocher, which would be nothing short of a CATASTROPHE.

Ask Holly: I really hate that goody-two-shoes Jeremy Corbyn

HE'S nothing but a pathetic beardy ball-bag.