Agony Aunt

Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
Now Christmas is over I have that familiar, encroaching feeling of doom as I realise I have absolutely nothing to look forward to in the near future except the arrival of hefty credit card bills and the daunting prospect of working off the megatonne of Iceland party food unwisely consumed over the Christmas period...

Your Problems Solved With Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
My daughter is starting to ask the inevitable questions: Where do babies come from? What happens when people die? Why does mummy have so many 'special friends' to stay over? etc.

Your Problems Solved With Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
I've been single for a few years now, and as I'm 35, it's only a matter of time before my lady garden closes to the public for good and my ovaries turn to dust and are blow away on the wind...

Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
I've come into a bit of money recently, and I am considering giving a large chunk of it to charity. I'm hoping that by giving something to those less fortunate than myself, it will tip the karmic balance and this sexy blonde girl who works in my office will finally let me pump her...

Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
I'm thinking of having my breasts augmented to a preposterous size, dressing as a porn-star and talking like a gutter snipe...

Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
My life is so rubbish right now and I need some advice about how to drag myself out of a rut. The main issue is my image and self-esteem. Aside from being rather podgy, I just don't know how to dress myself to look sexy...

Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
I was out with the girls having a few Bacardi Breezers the other night, and I ended up chatting to a tall handsome stranger at the bar. Twenty-four units of alcohol and a shish kebab later, and my favourite knickers were hanging jauntily from his bedroom lampshade...

Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
Halloween is fast approaching, and as a pensioner living alone, I am rather nervous about what this might hold for me. When I was young, there was no such thing as vandalism or rape, and kindly, silver-haired folk like myself could answer the door without fear...