YOU should follow my granny on Twitter, if you don't already.
ATHEISM isn't a wise choice if you are a schoolkid.
WHEN I was little, we had a German au pair called Valborga and she was 17.
SORRY to hear your new boyfriend has such a silly name.
I BLAME your parents for ruining your life.
DARKNESS consumes the earth.
WE'VE got a lovely little school rabbit called Nibbles who eats vegetables and does tiny poos everywhere.
A LONG time ago, before the internet was invented, people were ruled over by an evil dictator called Noel Edmonds,