"He also comes home in the middle of the night stinking of Frazzles."
TWO men approached me in the street and showed me a fine fabric which they said was so beautiful that stupid people can't see it.
Did you know that children's' TV used to only be on for a couple of hours a day? What the hell did everyone do for the other 22 hours?
"After about nine months there is an intense searing pain in my crotch and, weirdly, I hear a baby crying."
I'm in the shit. I need an excuse, and quick, can you help? Yours, Sir John Chilcot
IT always begins with me slowly entering the Bake Off tent in the middle of the night.
WE learned all about sugar and diet in school and how anything that tastes remotely nice is EVIL.
EVERYONE in the sixties was a heavy minger.
- Ask Holly: Can I ever escape from the fakery of 1D?
- Ask Holly: If I lose the leadership race I might become a Victoria's Secret model
- Dear Holly: What can I do to escape the cruel glare of the media?
- Dear Holly: That jackass Grimshaw has usurped me
- Ask Holly: Should I have her sacked, stop her benefits or both?