Agony Aunt

Ask Holly: Keith Richards has been slagging us off

EVERYONE in the sixties was a heavy minger.

Ask Holly: Can I ever escape from the fakery of 1D?

AS president of the unofficial Taylor Swift fan club, I have taken an official oath to always despise One Direction.

Ask Holly: If I lose the leadership race I might become a Victoria's Secret model

THEY hate me because I win all the awards for being a mad mental left winger.

Dear Holly: What can I do to escape the cruel glare of the media?

WE did the planets at school last year so I know everything there is to know about astrology.

Dear Holly: That jackass Grimshaw has usurped me

OLDER people are biologically predetermined to stop wanting to do fun stuff.

Ask Holly: Should I have her sacked, stop her benefits or both?

MY card was declined in error and my beloved serving wench witnessed the whole thing.

Dear Holly: I'm not sleeping because of money worries

LIKE Miley says, forget the haters because somebody loves ya.

Ask Holly: How can I ensure my retorts are always witty in future?

Dear Holly, The other day I got involved in an exchange of  words with a taxi driver and only later did I think of something funny  to say, but by then it was too late.