You start off with a few Ribenas and next thing you know, you're offering Brown Owl a head massage.
Free school dinners are like free dog turds.
Until now, us Directioners have focused mostly on soft targets like Taylor Swift.
Such a deep level of idiocy can't simply be learned, it must be innate.
If you don't believe me, watch The War of the Roses.
The only one worth a second look made an awful rhubarb and custard mess.
If I were to attack him with a claymore, Rob Roy-style, would it damage my chances in the 2014 Referendum?
I'm too old to bother with all this new-fangled PC nonsense you young'uns go in for which involves not being a xenophobic bastard.