Agony Aunt

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

Mrs Dodkins wasn't delighted when someone wrote 'Shirley Dodkins is a boss-eyed spunk badger' on the whiteboard in huge red letters.

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

That sounds like the time Heather Pickles ate too many Sherbet Dib Dabs at playtime and shat in the art cupboard.

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

"My wife looks after me to a good standard, and always cooks my tea and irons my shirts. But the miserable old bitch won't give me a blow job because she thinks it's dirty."

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

How can I make the mean people stop and maybe erase a few files too?
Jeremy Hunt,
Whitehall

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

"I don't want to be a head teacher any longer. I want to shave symbols on my head, join a street crew and do some fast formation dancing."

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

"He might not be so cocky when he's trapped between my thighs."

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

Just be grateful we're not still living in the 1970s when Jesus was alive, because there's no doubt you would have been crucified by a baying mob.

 

Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

One of the people who wants to be President of America is a merman.