We can go into the garden and snigger at her frightening undergarments, and maybe have a peek at her dog Bilko's enormous testicles.
If one comes near me I'll be sure to squish it with my shoe.
My wish came partly true, except K-Stew hasn't been mauled by a rabid dog yet.
Winning doesn't feel good when you're dealing with friction burns and a brutal sugar come-down.
Matthew's injury meant his mum withdrew her sponsorship offer of a Chupa Chup.
Toss his lunchbox to the ground so his Um-Bongo bursts and Wotsits go scudding across the concrete.
Back in the eighties Mimi Rogers was visited by an angel who told her that she would marry the messiah and also go on to win an Oscar for her role in Full Body Massage.
It's not much consolation when you're scrubbing excrement from the inside of a ripped potato sack.