Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

14-07-10

Dear Holly,
I don’t seem to be able to hang on to a man, no matter what I do. It’s not that I have any difficulties getting them in the first place: I just show a bit of nipple down the chippie and next thing I’m kneeling by the bins being pounded from behind by a hairy stranger. It’s the keeping hold of them that I can’t seem to master. Once it’s all over, and I’ve gathered up my chips, I turn around and the gentleman has completely vanished. Happens every time. Can you give me any pointers for progressing to the next stage of a relationship?
Sandra,
Tunbridge Wells

Dear Sandra,
By the time I was seven, I had managed to build up a collection of over 50 My Little Ponies, including Rainbow Dash, Sweetie Belle and  the incredibly rare Pinkie Pie, which hardly anyone has. The trouble is, that I was so overcome with excitement about my collection I stupidly invited pretty much everyone in the entire school round to my house to see. For one blissful afternoon, I was the talk of the school, and everyone wanted to be my friend. The trouble is, that because I was so hasty, the novelty soon wore off, and by the time Elizabeth Peterson got her hands on all four original Bratz dolls, my pony collection was long forgotten. Looking back, had I been less eager to expose my ponies all at once, and instead attempted to retain an air of mystery, I expect people would still be talking and wondering about them even now. Keep your Pinkie Pie to yourself for as long as you can, otherwise people will lose interest very quickly indeed.
Hope that helps!
Holly

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