Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

04-08-10

Dear Holly,
My boyfriend keeps going on and on about inviting another woman into our relationship. While in principle I don’t object, the woman he has singled out for this role is my mother. Is he right when he says I’m just being on old fuddy-duddy?
Henrietta,
Grimsby

 

Dear Henrietta,
I once made the mistake of inviting Louise Barr and Mary Ferguson around to play with my Barbie Mansion, but in the time it took me to fetch some party size Mars bars, the two of them had conspired against me and decided they wanted to play at dressing up instead. My attempts to persuade them to revert to the original, much more enjoyable plan became quite heated, and I confess I did try to force Mary’s head into Barbie’s garage, causing some superficial scarring to her face and neck. But that was no excuse for Louise to take the opportunity to dismember my favourite Barbie and stamp on her pink cadillac while my back was turned. What these events taught me is that three is most definitely a crowd. Also, remember that if you try to fight two people at once, you’re unlikely to come out the victor, even if you do manage get in some good hard pinches and a chinese burn.
Hope that helps!
Holly

 

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