Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

07-03-12

Dear Holly,
My boss is starting to realise that I am lazy and shit at my job, which is a shame, because I quite enjoy playing Minesweeper and reading BBC news for sixty thousand a year. How can I get him off my case so I can get back to beating my high score on Solitare?
Frank
Air traffic control tower
Gatwick

 

Dear Frank,
If your work is anything like my class then you’ll have at least 16 colleagues with ADHD. Although individually, these people are annoying because they shout out in class and think it’s funny to throw Monster Munch at your head, as a group they can be a powerful resource. Say, for example, you accidentally watched High School Musical eight times instead of revising for an important maths test. All you have to do is offer each ADHD mentalist a whole packet of Fruit Gums about half an hour before the test and hey presto! You’ve got yourself a full scale riot. Teacher will be too busy trying to wrestle the fire extinguisher back, wiping the drawing of a big hairy cock and balls from the whiteboard and emptying urine out of his shoes to bother with a test and you’ll be free to draw love hearts on your Zac Efron poster for the rest of the afternoon.
Hope that helps!
Holly

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