http://www.thedailymash.co.uk It's news to us Sat, 18 May 2013 12:00:47 +0000 hourly 1 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/horoscopes/your-astrological-week-ahead-with-psychic-bob-52-2013051568823 Wed, 15 May 2013 08:25:38 +0000 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=68823 Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY) If you don’t have anything nice to say about anybody, you probably know the same people I do.]]> http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/horoscopes/your-astrological-week-ahead-with-psychic-bob-51-2013050867822 Wed, 08 May 2013 09:11:28 +0000 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=67822 Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Money, money, money. Must be funny, in a rich man's world. Especially when they fish for tramps using fivers as bait.]]> http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/horoscopes/your-astrological-week-ahead-with-psychic-bob-50-2013050167282 Wed, 01 May 2013 07:45:57 +0000 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=67282 Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY) Your drinking problem is brought into sharp focus this week when the local off licence offers you £5k not to move house.]]> http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/horoscopes/your-astrological-week-ahead-with-psychic-bob-49-2013042466494 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 08:25:37 +0000 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=66494 Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY) When sending back wine for being lacklustre or corked, ignore the waiter's protests that he's 'actually a priest'.]]> http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/horoscopes/your-astrological-week-ahead-with-psychic-bob-48-2013041765797 Wed, 17 Apr 2013 07:50:31 +0000 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=65797 Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) You're shocked to discover The Hobbit was totally ripped off from Willow.]]> http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/horoscopes/your-astrological-week-ahead-with-psychic-bob-47-2013041065220 Wed, 10 Apr 2013 06:41:14 +0000 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=65220 Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Your interview with David Bowie starts badly when you point out that ‘Major’ Tom would actually have been ‘Squadron Leader’ Tom.]]> http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/horoscopes/your-astrological-week-ahead-with-psychic-bob-46-2013040364524 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 08:28:48 +0000 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=64524 Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY) You should have a night off the booze but I’m not sure an 18-hour blackout really counts.]]> http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/horoscopes/your-astrological-week-ahead-with-psychic-bob-45-2013032763963 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 09:48:02 +0000 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=63963 Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Enjoy your Easter weekend slapping chocolate out of the hands of your atheist friends and asking why they’re not at work.]]> http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/horoscopes/your-astrological-week-ahead-with-psychic-bob-44-2013032063271 Wed, 20 Mar 2013 09:34:54 +0000 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=63271 Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Your nan fails to thank you this week for the sweater you get her with the ‘Do Not Resuscitate’ logo.]]> http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/horoscopes/your-astrological-week-ahead-with-psychic-bob-43-2013031362516 Wed, 13 Mar 2013 08:48:51 +0000 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=62516 Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) You lose finally lose several pounds this week, when you have your foot amputated.]]> http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/horoscopes/your-astrological-week-ahead-with-psychic-bob-42-2013030661949 Wed, 06 Mar 2013 10:06:04 +0000 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=61949 Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY) The death of Hugo Chavez hits you pretty hard until somebody tells you he wasn't a footballer.]]> http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/horoscopes/your-astrological-week-ahead-with-psychic-bob-41-2013022761205 Wed, 27 Feb 2013 09:43:12 +0000 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=61205 Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) After buying a pin cushion you now have really comfortable pins.]]> http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/horoscopes/your-astrological-week-ahead-with-psychic-bob-40-2013022060373 Wed, 20 Feb 2013 09:37:05 +0000 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=60373 Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY) Apparently, The Wonderstuff’s Size Of A Cow contains traces of Jethro Tull’s Heavy Horses.]]> http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/horoscopes/your-astrological-week-ahead-with-psychic-bob-39-2013021359520 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 08:57:42 +0000 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=59520 Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Zombies, for f*ck’s sake? What are you, 12?]]> http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/horoscopes/your-astrological-week-ahead-with-psychic-bob-38-2013020658740 Wed, 06 Feb 2013 09:00:57 +0000 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=58740 Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB) You watch Home Alone on rewind, where it’s about a family who’ll only adopt a boy once he’s proven he can knock shite out of burglars.]]> http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/horoscopes/your-astrological-week-ahead-with-psychic-bob-37-2013013058061 Wed, 30 Jan 2013 09:52:18 +0000 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=58061 Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) This week you buy your girlfriend some Jimmy Choo perfume because you’ve always wanted to go out with somebody who smells like feet.]]> http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/horoscopes/your-astrological-week-ahead-with-psychic-bob-36-2013012357089 Wed, 23 Jan 2013 10:05:08 +0000 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=57089 Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY) Since you ask, I don't think strippers accept Nectar points.]]> http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/horoscopes/your-astrological-week-ahead-with-psychic-bob-35-2013011656304 Wed, 16 Jan 2013 10:31:12 +0000 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=56304 Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY) You’ve had no booze or fags since New Year ’s Day which would be impressive if you weren’t trapped under a wardrobe.]]> http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/horoscopes/your-astrological-week-ahead-with-psychic-bob-34-2013010955471 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 09:50:54 +0000 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=55471 Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) This week you will convince a court that it’s possible to embarrass a man who calls himself ‘Rocknroll’.]]> http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/horoscopes/your-astrological-week-ahead-with-psychic-bob-33-2013010354774 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 09:23:18 +0000 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=54774 Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY) You're still convinced that the fireworks on December 31^st were to celebrate that massive shit you had.]]>