Horoscopes

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Pisces (20 FEB-20 MAR)
Your decision to open a karaoke bar in Cardiff pays dividends this week as you spot a gaggle of cackling women headed by, one with 600 grand burning a hole in her pocket.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)
A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse! And I’ll give you twenty quid if you can get me some rubber gloves and a big jar of goose fat while you’re at it.


Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)
Romance isn’t dead, but since you backed the car out of the drive on the way to the restaurant, her cat most assuredly is.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)
Your interest in appearing on University Challenge quickly wanes when you realise it's not about asking tosspot students to step outside.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)
If I were a rich man, yubbydibbydibbydibbydibbydibbydibbydum. All day long I’d biddybiddybum, if I were a wealthy man. Which probably explains why I’m not.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)
Look for the bare necessities, the simple bare necessities, forget about your worries and your strife. And thank you for calling the Benefits Helpline.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Capricorn (22 DEC-19 JAN)
This week, your no-nonsense attitude to work gets you sacked from the homeopathic pharmacy.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Capricorn (22 DEC-19 JAN)
You may not know much about art, but you know what you like. It’s just a shame that happens to be rearranging your balls on public transport.