Horoscopes
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)
An interesting eight seconds later this week as the last few moments
of your life are spent realising that your entire journalistic career
has been spent making an already dreadful world marginally worse with
your pinch-mouthed hateful rambling.
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)
When renegotiating your phone contract this week, rather than going
for one with loads of free texts get the one that's covered in cyanide.
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)
If you need a hobby why not dress as an old man, hang around
weddings and tell the groom you're him from the future and you've come
to warn him about the terrible consequences of going through with the
ceremony?
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)
Climbing up on Solsbury Hill, I could see the city lights. Wind was
blowing, time stood still, eagle flew out of the night. A great evening
of dogging lay ahead.
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Capricorn (22 DEC-19 JAN)
You've not been yourself recently, which explains why people can finally bear to be in the same room as you.
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Libra (23 SEP-23 OCT)
Frighten old ladies on the bus this week by passing them a note that says 'rumpy pumpy'.
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Capricorn (22 DEC-19 JAN)
Really drunk, you say? At the New Year's Eve party you went to? Crikey. You must tell me everything.
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Capricorn (22 DEC-19 JAN)
Silence around the Christmas dinner table as your uncle says he hasn't
seen that much meat stuffed up the same bird since he was in Bangkok
with the Merchant Navy.