Horoscopes

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY) If you don’t have anything nice to say about anybody, you probably know the same people I do.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Money, money, money. Must be funny, in a rich man's world. Especially when they fish for tramps using fivers as bait.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY) Your drinking problem is brought into sharp focus this week when the local off licence offers you £5k not to move house.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY) When sending back wine for being lacklustre or corked, ignore the waiter's protests that he's 'actually a priest'.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) You're shocked to discover The Hobbit was totally ripped off from Willow.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Your interview with David Bowie starts badly when you point out that ‘Major’ Tom would actually have been ‘Squadron Leader’ Tom.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY) You should have a night off the booze but I’m not sure an 18-hour blackout really counts.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Enjoy your Easter weekend slapping chocolate out of the hands of your atheist friends and asking why they’re not at work.