Horoscopes
Your Astrological Week Ahead
WITH PSYCHIC BOB
Aries (21 MAR-19 APR)
Venus brings back some old faeces from the past, but luckily Saturn has the number of a cheap and reliable 24 hour plumber.
Your Astrological Week Ahead
WITH PSYCHIC BOB
Aries (21 MAR-19 APR)
Even a well-adjusted Aries can find it hard to know whether to compromise or confront. And you are a completely mental one.
Your Astrological Week Ahead
WITH PSYCHIC BOB
Aries (21 MAR-19 APR)
Neptune in Pisces gives you waves of love for your partner, that cheap bit of trash you knock off at weekends, and the temp in accounts with the squint and the dirty laugh.
Your Astrological Week Ahead
WITH PSYCHIC BOB
Pisces (20 FEB-20 MAR)
A full Moon next to Saturn signals a climactic point for one pet project. But remember, in the eyes of the law, as an animal can't speak, it can't give its consent.
Your Astrological Week Ahead
WITH PSYCHIC BOB
Pisces (20 FEB-20 MAR)
Your ability to remain positive in the face of adversity and always express yourself with enthusiasm has never been more annoying. I may have to kill you.
Your Astrological Week Ahead
WITH PSYCHIC BOB
Pisces (20 FEB-20 MAR)
Mars, the planet of tangled wiring, meets Pluto the planet of multi-speaker home cinema system installation and badly translated Japanese instruction manuals. You are fucked.
Your Astrological Week Ahead
WITH PSYCHIC BOB
Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)
Mercury moves into the house of repressed memories, so now is a good time to ask your parents why Uncle Frank is never invited to family gatherings
Your Astrological Week Ahead
WITH PSYCHIC BOB
Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)
A stare lingers too long, someone goes out of their way to walk by your desk, a red dot travels up your body to the centre of your forehead and then suddenly everything goes dark.