Horoscopes

Your Astrological Week Ahead With...

Psychic Bob

Pisces (20 FEB-20 MAR)
Spring is definitely in the air as you spray your colleagues' desks with your pungent urine and strut up and down in front of the large-breasted temp, ostentatiously displaying the lining of your new jacket.

Your Astrological Week Ahead With...

Psychic Bob

Pisces (20 FEB-20 MAR)
Got some worthless opinions you want to share? Why not stick them on the internet under a piece of correctly spelled and punctuated prose which has been written by someone who has actually thought about it? You're just so clever and articulate. Will you marry me?

Your Astrological Week Ahead With...

Psychic Bob

Pisces (20 FEB-20 MAR)
Peeling wallpaper? Leaking shower? Broken tiles in the kitchen? I wonder if they're in any way connected to the suspiciously stained sofa, the early morning cans of Kestrel Super Lager, and the fact you're watching One Tree Hill in charity shop underpants?

Your Astrological Week Ahead With...

Psychic Bob

Pisces (20 FEB-20 MAR)
This week, pop into your local B&Q warehouse and ask the staff to give you a list of valid reasons why they think they are so much better than you.

Your Astrological Week Ahead With...

Psychic Bob

Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)
The sudden breakdown of a long-term relationship can be a challenging time but it has been nearly five days. So shut up.

Your Astrological Week Ahead With...

Psychic Bob

Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)
You have a busy work and social life, with your duties as a magistrate, Sunday league referee and chair of your local neighbourhood watch. So why not take an hour every now and again to mind your own fucking business?

Your Astrological Week Ahead With...

Psychic Bob

Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)
A partnership working approach, aligned with diversionary intervention projects and a parenting support plan might get your child back on track. Or you may just want to take a belt to the little fucker every now and then.

Your Astrological Week Ahead With...

Psychic Bob

Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)
You've tried hard to juggle your domestic family life with a series of sordid one night stands and longer running affairs with deeply damaged and needy individuals. And it's worked. Well done.