Horoscopes

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) On Saturday you reveal that you’re so hipster, you call London 'Londinium'.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB) Next week you will pre-order the new iPhone. Repeat this horoscope every 12 months until you die.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Taurus (20 APRIL–20 MAY) It’s a great week for you financially, because you were born with money. 

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Taurus (20 APRIL–20 MAY) It’s a bull market, which is to say you’re the victim of people trafficking. 

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Taurus (20 APRIL–20 MAY) After solving the mysterious labyrinth, outsmarting the cunning wizard and vanquishing the Diamond Griffin, you manage to get through to somebody in customer services at your council.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Taurus (20 APRIL–20 MAY) This week, you finally realise who you'd be in a zombie apocalypse, and it's third zombie from the left with pulled-off arm. 

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) While you'd consider yourself more a dog person than a cat person, either will do if you're hungry enough.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Taurus (20 APRIL–20 MAY) You had a great Fat Tuesday yesterday. Or as you call it, Tuesday.