Taurus (20 APRIL - 20 MAY) This week for your 18th birthday you get to open the sealed box your parents put together the day you were born. Inside is a slip of paper saying 'Get a job'.
Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) You sicken me. No, not you, the one stood next to you.
Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) As an existentialist from Grimsby you’ve always believed that Hull is other people.
Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Time to up the exercise levels this weekend by going to the chippy that's further away.
Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) If life has taught you one thing, might I suggest you start paying a bit more attention?
Aries (21 MAR-19 APR) Counting to ten is a good way to calm down and may also explain, given your educational record, why you’re so angry all the time.
Libra (23 SEP-23 OCT) You are the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s new housekeeper. Congratulations.
Aries (21 MAR-19 APR) Spring is definitely in the air this week as you find yourself in the local park being unspeakable with a tree.