Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me squint and have really aged my face.
Libra (23 SEP-23 OCT) Scooby Doo or Scooby Doo Not. There is no Scooby Try.
Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) It’s not a Retro Pop Up Street Food Experience, it’s a hot dog van.
Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY) With high levels of homelessness amongst ex-servicemen, you’re relieved that Prince William has managed to find some digs.
Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) If all else fails, it will be exactly like the rest of your crappy life.
Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Suck it and see. Actually, you might want to see it before you agree to suck it.
Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY) Virgo enters your sign this week, patting his pockets and humming distractedly for a moment, before wandering out again.
Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) You know what Hollywood should do? They should make a film where two photogenic supernatural races are battling and humanity is stuck in the middle.