Horoscopes

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Your kid is the star of the school’s nativity play. Which is a step down from a shepherd, really.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY) Guinness loses interest in your claim that you can hold your breath for twenty minutes when you explain that’s not all in one go.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB) That Mars advert where the bloke goes in goal is so unrealistic - Scott Parker in an England shirt?

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Libra (23 SEP-23 OCT) STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON! Then second left, follow the ring road, you can't miss it.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) You’re still convinced that Carly Simon is somebody called Simon who looks a lot like somebody called Carl.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY) Ancient Sumerian. There’s no need for that kind of language.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Might as well face it, you’re addicted to love. And crack.