Horoscopes

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Money, money, money. Must be funny, in a rich man's world. Especially when they fish for tramps using fivers as bait.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY) Your drinking problem is brought into sharp focus this week when the local off licence offers you £5k not to move house.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY) When sending back wine for being lacklustre or corked, ignore the waiter's protests that he's 'actually a priest'.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) You're shocked to discover The Hobbit was totally ripped off from Willow.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Your interview with David Bowie starts badly when you point out that ‘Major’ Tom would actually have been ‘Squadron Leader’ Tom.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY) You should have a night off the booze but I’m not sure an 18-hour blackout really counts.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Enjoy your Easter weekend slapping chocolate out of the hands of your atheist friends and asking why they’re not at work.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Your nan fails to thank you this week for the sweater you get her with the ‘Do Not Resuscitate’ logo.