Horoscopes
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Scorpio (24 OCT-21 NOV)
Time to break out the nice wine glasses as you find a bottle of Asti
in the park that you're almost certain hasn't been filled with urine.
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Scorpio (24 OCT-21 NOV)
It's okay, mine humps people's legs too. So was yours born like that or did the midwife drop it on its head?
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Libra (23 SEP-23 OCT)
They say that 'comedy is tragedy plus distance' so why did nobody
laugh when you prodded that grieving widow with a blackboard ruler?
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Libra (23 SEP-23 OCT)
This week you will try to enter America's Next Top Model. She will kick you in the nuts.
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Libra (23 SEP-23 OCT)
You've been telling everyone that Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy
is an elegantly-constructed and beautifully-acted piece of film making,
because that's what you heard somebody else say when you were walking
out of The Smurfs.
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Libra (23 SEP-23 OCT)
You'll spend most of this week feeling very pleased with yourself, demonstrating just how easily pleased you are.
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Virgo (23 AUG-22 SEP)
This week you give birth to a fart of such ferocity that you feel compelled to name it before it makes landfall in southern Florida.
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Virgo (23 AUG-22 SEP)
Many people imagine how it'll end for them - charging into battle
surrounded by brothers in arms, diving in front of a speeding car to
save the life of a loved one, or trampled by a bull in Pamplona? All I'm
going to say to you is 'anal trauma'.