Your Astrological Week Ahead
Virgo (23 AUG-22 SEP)
Having a rich fantasy life is healthy. It is just your acting them out that is sick and disgusting
Libra (23 SEP-23 OCT)
When you daydream about a your current girlfriend do you flash forward through time imagining your perfect life together? Don’t, she's sleeping with your sister.
Scorpio (24 OCT-21 NOV)
It's a super day to take a risk and ask someone new out for a casual date. You won’t be stuck in the rain waiting for them when they don’t turn up.
Sagittarius (22 NOV-21 DEC)
Love isn't always instantaneous. It just is in your case Mr Floppy. Tissue?
Capricorn (22 DEC-19 JAN)
Instead of tackling your problem alone, ask others if they are interested in teaming up. If you all think about girls while you are doing it then it’s not a bit gay.
Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)
Watch out. Your indecisive behaviour could turn off a potential admirer. Once you have decided on a hole you should stick to it.
Pisces (20 FEB-20 MAR)
Be generous with your affections today. People won’t complain so much when you put your prices up tomorrow.
Aries (21 MAR-19 APR)
Endless chatter from people with nothing of any real importance to say will drive you mad today. So stop talking to yourself.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Romance means different things to different people. But it only means that to demented perverts like you.
Gemini (21 MAY-20 JUN)
Now is a good time to focus on yourself. Book a visit to a spa over the weekend, or ease tensions at work with some relaxing masturbation.
Cancer (21 JUN-22 JUL)
Worried that you are taking your work stresses back home? Stay in the pub.