Your Astrological Week Ahead

Libra (23 SEP-23 OCT)

Juggling work and a social life is tricky but not impossible. Just do less work.

Scorpio (24 OCT-21 NOV)

It's not easy to remain fair-minded when it comes to dating. But you only bought her a drink, so you should be happy with tops and fingers.

Sagittarius (22 NOV-21 DEC)

Have fun flirting with a co-worker. Make eye contact at meetings. Laugh at their jokes. Sleep with them and then tell everyone in the office so they know they are a worthless slut.

Capricorn (22 DEC-19 JAN)

Today things may not go as smoothly as you hoped. But it's not the end of the world! That’s tomorrow.

Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)

Watch out for others' feelings today. You may inadvertently insult someone with a sarcastic comment. It’s much more fun if you really mean it.

Pisces (20 FEB-20 MAR)

If you can figure out a way to balance all your various relationships you'll cut down on stress and thrive. And you won’t have to lie to your husband so much.

Aries (21 MAR-19 APR)

It's a great day to try different things. Invite a friend to go on hike in a place you've never visited. When you get lost tell them you need to get that close to conserve body heat.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

People are drawn too you more today as you let your jovial side show. Your smile and laughter put others at ease. Now you can explain what you mean by the final solution.

Gemini (21 MAY-20 JUN)

There's a fine line between enthusiasm and desperation, and you just crossed it.

Cancer (21 JUN-22 JUL)

You should do something big today, and it will be a floater.

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG)

Too many late nights can wreck havoc with your health. Tonight stay in and relax yourself with some frenzied masturbation.