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	<title>The Daily Mash</title>
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		<title>Gay marriage will affect things that don&#8217;t matter, reveals Tebbit</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/gay-marriage-will-affect-things-that-dont-matter-reveals-tebbit-2013052169570</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 May 2013 10:52:54 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Society]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[GAY marriage could force Britain to read about a newly married lesbian queen opening a hospital, it has emerged.]]></description>
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		<title>Caviar scandal &#8216;like a not very good parable&#8217;</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/caviar-scandal-sort-of-a-parable-2013052169561</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 May 2013 09:54:26 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Society]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[CHEAPER caviar being passed off as high-end sevruga caviar probably amounts to a parable of some kind, it has been claimed. Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: &#8220;Sevruga caviar is a luxury favoured by the disgustingly rich. &#8220;But they were all duped, partly perhaps by their own vanity and arrogance. &#8220;There&#8217;s a [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Apple fans queue overnight for tax avoidance scheme</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/apple-fans-queue-overnight-for-tax-avoidance-scheme-2013052169534</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 May 2013 09:11:18 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Business]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[APPLE'S diehard fans are queuing outside the company's stores eager to snap-up the latest beautifully designed way of avoiding tax.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Stephen Hawking: Why I refused to DJ in Tel Aviv</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/opinion/stephen-hawking-why-i-refused-to-dj-in-tel-aviv-2013052169532</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 May 2013 09:05:42 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Opinion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bob-box]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=69532</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I must admit being flattered when I was asked to spin in Tel Aviv last weekend.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Retired footballers start tropical detective agency</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/retired-footballers-start-tropical-detective-agency-2013052169505</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 May 2013 08:12:12 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=69505</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[FORMER Premier League players have joined forces to fight crime in exotic locations.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Doctors&#8217; receptionists urged to be less terrifying</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/doctors-receptionists-urged-to-be-less-terrifying-2013052169499</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 May 2013 07:37:15 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Health]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=69499</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[PATIENTS have asked doctors' receptionists if they can please stop looking at them like that.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Kevin McCloud lives on new-build estate</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/kevin-mccloud-lives-on-new-build-estate-2013052069381</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 May 2013 10:25:50 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[<em>GRAND Designs</em> presenter Kevin McCloud lives on an estate called The Glades, it has emerged.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>It was me that called them swivel-eyed loons, says Cameron</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/it-was-me-that-called-them-swivel-eyed-loons-says-cameron-2013052069380</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 May 2013 10:21:15 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics Headlines]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[DAVID Cameron has admitted that he is the senior Tory who called activists 'swivel-eyed loons'.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Gay people to continue having lots of hot sex</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/gay-people-to-continue-having-lots-of-hot-sex-2013052069374</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 May 2013 09:32:20 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Society]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=69374</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[BRITAIN'S gay men and women have defied angry Tories by taking their gayness to a new and hotter level.]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Warn young children about Daily Mail sidebar, say experts</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/warn-young-children-about-daily-mail-sidebar-say-experts-2013052069327</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 May 2013 08:36:25 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Society]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[CHILDREN should be warned about Femail Today as soon they have access to the internet, it has been claimed.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Lennon guitar bought by Wings tribute act</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/lennon-guitar-bought-by-wings-tribute-act-2013052069320</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 May 2013 07:59:41 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Arts & Entertainment]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=69320</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[JOHN Lennon’s guitar has been purchased to play the hits of Paul McCartney.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Male aggression caused by chafing</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/male-aggression-caused-by-chafing-2013051769251</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 May 2013 10:33:03 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Society]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=69251</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[STOCKY men are aggressive because their clothes are constantly chafing.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Mrs Phillips in room seven</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/opinion/columnists/mrs-phillips-in-room-seven-2013051769221</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 May 2013 09:48:22 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Columnists]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bob-box]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Oh my, would you look at this. BBC2, nine o’clock, ‘The Fisters’.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Doctor Who&#8217;s target audience is Stephen Hawking</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/doctor-whos-target-audience-is-stephen-hawking-2013051769169</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 May 2013 09:11:04 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Arts & Entertainment]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=69169</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[FORMER kids' TV series <em>Doctor Who</em> is now aimed at Stephen Hawking, according to showrunner Stephen Moffat.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Farage attacked by Scottish Farage</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/farage-attacked-by-scottish-farage-2013051769143</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 May 2013 08:43:50 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics Headlines]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=69143</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[NIGEL Farage stared through the looking glass yesterday as he was besieged in an Edinburgh pub by demented nationalists. The UKIP leader had gone to Scotland to talk about why the country you come from is the most important thing about you, but was forced to flee by some furious Scottish people who believe exactly [...]]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Older workers kept alive by hate</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/older-workers-kept-alive-by-hate-2013051769102</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 May 2013 07:53:39 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Society]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=69102</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[PEOPLE who don't retire live longer because they are fuelled by hatred for their co-workers.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Beckham &#8216;had been playing football&#8217; since leaving Man United</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/beckham-had-been-playing-football-since-leaving-man-united-2013051769101</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 May 2013 07:52:03 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Sport Headlines]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=69101</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[DAVID Beckham continued to play professional football from time to time after leaving Manchester United, it has emerged.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>New rollercoaster guaranteed to kill you</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/new-rollercoaster-guaranteed-to-kill-you-2013051669037</link>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 May 2013 10:35:19 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Arts & Entertainment]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=69037</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[THEME park Alton Towers has unveiled a new rollercoaster so extreme that it guarantees no rider will survive the experience.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Fast &amp; Furious 6 ‘totally homosexual’</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/fast-furious-6-totally-homosexual-2013051669009</link>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 May 2013 09:27:10 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Arts & Entertainment]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=69009</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<i>FAST &#38; Furious 6</i> is aimed exclusively at a gay audience, its makers have revealed.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>My boss thinks he is entitled to order me around</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/agony-aunt/my-boss-thinks-he-is-entitled-to-order-me-around-2013051669006</link>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 May 2013 08:49:47 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Agony Aunt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[You need to get your big sister to beat him up after work.]]></description>
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