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	<title>The Daily Mash</title>
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		<item>
		<title>What exactly do you mean by &#8216;reckless&#8217;? ask bankers</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/what-exactly-do-you-mean-by-reckless-ask-bankers-2013061972880</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 19 Jun 2013 10:10:23 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Business]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[BANKERS have attacked plans to send them to jail for being &#8216;reckless&#8217;, insisting that could mean anything. As the Banking Standards Commission called for harsher penalties for financial executives, the bankers insisted recklessness was &#8216;entirely subjective&#8217;. Martin Bishop, from Donelly-McPartlin, said:  &#8220;I cannot imagine the circumstances under which we would behave recklessly. Do you mean [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Amazing Google office has wank shed</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/amazing-google-office-has-wank-shed-2013061972769</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 19 Jun 2013 09:07:46 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Business]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[GOOGLE'S incredible HQ has been revamped to include a shed where employees can masturbate.]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Key similarity between Christ and Superman is that they&#8217;re both made-up, say experts</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/key-similarity-between-christ-and-superman-is-that-theyre-both-made-up-say-experts-2013061972768</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 19 Jun 2013 08:32:07 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Arts & Entertainment]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[THE stories of Christ and Superman share many elements that are completely fictional, experts have revealed.]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Joe Kinnear wants Newcastle to play in comet formation</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/joe-kinnear-wants-newcastle-to-play-in-comet-formation-2013061972669</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 19 Jun 2013 08:00:05 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Sport]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[NEWCASTLE United's Director of Football plans to reshape the team formation to all chasing after the ball at once.]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/horoscopes/your-astrological-week-ahead-with-psychic-bob-57-2013061972659</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 19 Jun 2013 07:39:05 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Horoscopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bob-box]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=72659</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<strong>Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG)</strong>
Findus have so far showed no interest in your bright green processed potato product called ‘HULK SMASH’.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Flash Gordon to investigate unusual weather</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/science-technology/flash-gordon-to-investigate-unusual-weather-2013061972661</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 19 Jun 2013 07:22:11 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Science & Technology]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=72661</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[AMERICAN football player Flash Gordon is to investigate the UK’s recent unusual weather.]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>God is dead, say Girl Guides</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/god-is-dead-say-girl-guides-2013061972665</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 19 Jun 2013 07:19:13 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Society]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[GOD is dead and patriotism is intellectually bankrupt, the Girl Guides have announced.]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Redundancy for soldiers who didn&#8217;t kill anyone</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/war/redundancy-for-soldiers-who-didnt-kill-anyone-2013061872633</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 18 Jun 2013 12:56:05 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[War]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[SOLDIERS who failed to meet Afghan death targets are to be sacked.]]></description>
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		<title>&#8216;Because I&#8217;ve got your iPlayer, thanks&#8217; is top TV licence excuse</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/because-ive-got-your-iplayer-thanks-is-top-license-fee-excuse-2013061872622</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 18 Jun 2013 11:30:28 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Arts & Entertainment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[THE most common excuse for not having a BBC TV licence is the existence of the BBC iPlayer, it has emerged. A BBC spokesman said: &#8220;You&#8217;d be amazed at how many people refuse to pay £145 a year simply because we give all our stuff away on the internet. &#8220;It&#8217;s really annoying. Maybe we didn&#8217;t [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Neil Gaiman to publish book of solid financial advice</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/neil-gaiman-to-publish-book-of-solid-financial-advice-2013061872617</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 18 Jun 2013 10:38:55 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Arts & Entertainment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[BEST-SELLING fantasy writer Neil Gaiman has announced his first book of sound financial advice. Discussing Neil Gaiman&#8217;s ISAs and ISA Alternatives Gaiman said: &#8220;There&#8217;s more to me as a writer than dreams, myths and hallucinatory inter-dimensional journeys to gothic netherworlds. &#8220;I&#8217;m actually a lot keener on ISAs, fixed yield bonds and other comparable savings products than [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Whiplash test to involve removal of telly and crisps</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/whiplash-test-to-involve-removal-of-telly-and-crisps-2013061872593</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 18 Jun 2013 09:41:43 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Health]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[ANYONE claiming to have whiplash will be denied telly and crisps for a week, as a test of their integrity.]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>New words like &#8216;madchunkle&#8217; suggest kids mocking OED researchers</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/new-words-like-madchunkle-suggest-kids-mocking-oed-researchers-2013061872569</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 18 Jun 2013 08:44:51 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Society]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[THE editors of the Oxford English Dictionary have included a series of ill-advised words after speaking to cruel teenagers.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Home workers being sexually harassed by themselves</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/home-workers-being-sexually-harassed-by-themselves-2013061872560</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 18 Jun 2013 08:00:03 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Society]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=72560</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[PEOPLE who work from home are routinely coercing themselves to perform inappropriate acts, it has emerged.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Britain &#8216;incredibly proud&#8217; of man who fell out of building</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/britain-incredibly-proud-of-man-who-fell-out-of-building-2013061772486</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 17 Jun 2013 10:30:37 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[BRITAIN is still a world-leader at producing people who can fall out of buildings, it has been confirmed.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Bring back erotic thrillers to Channel 5, says Cameron</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/bring-back-erotic-thrillers-to-channel-five-says-cameron-2013061772483</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 17 Jun 2013 10:19:02 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[DAVID Cameron wants erotic thrillers back on Channel 5 to wean the nation off hardcore internet porn. The prime minister said: &#8220;I always thought erotic thrillers like Night Eyes 2 with Shannon Tweed gave the right balance of titillation with gripping plotlines. &#8220;No one needs to see full penetration when you&#8217;ve got high production values [...]]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Horses weird</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/horses-weird-2013061772460</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 17 Jun 2013 09:34:06 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[HORSES are strange, it has been claimed.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>All That She Wants was last proper Number One</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/all-that-she-wants-was-last-proper-number-one-2013061772435</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 17 Jun 2013 08:40:39 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Arts & Entertainment]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Two decades have officially passed since people knew what was at the top of the charts.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Dads struggling with return to normal life</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/dads-struggling-with-return-to-normal-life-2013061772426</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 17 Jun 2013 07:40:40 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Society]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=72426</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[DADS are struggling with normality after 24 hours of unbridled self-indulgence.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Taxi drivers attend all-night mellow music festival</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/taxi-drivers-attend-all-night-mellow-music-festival-2013061472299</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 14 Jun 2013 10:14:06 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Arts & Entertainment]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[THOUSANDS of taxi drivers are returning from Cabfest, the drive-in mellow music festival.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Murdoch divorce after wife discovers pentagram</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/murdoch-divorce-after-wife-discovers-pentagram-2013061472265</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 14 Jun 2013 09:27:20 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[RUPERT Murdoch and his wife are to divorce after she stumbled across a pentagram painted in blood in the basement of their New York mansion.]]></description>
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