Health

Running addicts warned not to try anything pleasant

IF you can get addicted to something as awful as running you should definitely not try cocaine, according to experts.

NHS gone

BRITAIN has woken up to find the National Health Service replaced by signs promising that an exciting new health provider is coming soon.

Men’s Health magazine finally puts a gorilla on the cover

MUSCLE-BASED periodical Men’s Health has unveiled its first ever cover gorilla.

Energy drinks recommended as part of an unhealthy lifestyle

ENERGY drinks are the perfect complement to partying too much and eating ready meals, according to medical experts.

British men getting untoned for summer

BRITAIN’S men are getting their bodies into the perfect overweight shape for the beach.

Marathon runners unable to distinguish between real and metaphorical walls

LONDON Marathon participants have been warned that the wall they went through was just a figure of speech.

Exercise just an excuse to eat more chips

BRITONS exercise purely to justify eating more food, it has emerged.

All things now healthy and unhealthy at the same time

EVERY possible lifestyle choice is simultaneously good and bad for you, it has been confirmed.