Health

Homeopathy replaced by fagsopathy

FORMER homeopathic doctors are offering a new treatment where patients smoke a lot of cigarettes.

Waitrose coffee 'nauseatingly middle class'

WAITROSE cafe customers have fallen ill after drinking coffee contaminated with bourgeois values.

Heavy drinkers to get new livers so Britain doesn’t run out of people

THE NHS is to ease the rules on liver transplants so that Britain will still have enough people.

Smoking ban undermined by people sucking things

ANTI-SMOKING campaigners have called for a ban on anything that can be sucked.

Vegetables are good for you, say experts

FOOD scientists have turned nutrition on its head by claiming that eating vegetables may be a good idea.

Ban on ads ordering parents to ram junk food into their children 24 hours a day

ADVERTS which give parents no choice but to pump their children full of sugar and fat 24 hours a day are to be banned.

Health not that important

YOUR health is not especially important, according to a new study.

Special milk is for special people

MILK alternatives made from soya, quinoa and flax are best suited to special people, it has been confirmed.