Health

Man with cold enjoys original and amusing comments about ‘man flu’

A MALE office worker with a cold is excitedly awaiting clever and funny remarks about how he actually has ‘man flu’, it has emerged.

Doctors evil, explains Hunt

DOCTORS only do it because they like cutting people up or making them take their clothes off, health secretary Jeremy Hunt has claimed.

Woman who ‘can’t help putting on weight’ is free energy machine

A WOMAN who claims to put on weight no matter how little she eats could solve the world’s energy crisis, it has emerged.

Pseudo-scientific diet fails to stop scientific illness

A WOMAN has contracted a stinking cold despite following a special diet based on wishful thinking.

Grateful nation salutes heavy drinkers

BRITAIN has paid tribute to the so-called ‘problem’ drinkers who have raised billions in tax revenue.

Poppers users wondering how else to get pounding headache

AMYL nitrate users are concerned about where they will get their instant headaches if it is made illegal. 

Millions of unsold Creme Eggs about to hatch

MILLIONS of unsold Creme Eggs are about to break open and release the hideous monsters inside, scientists have confirmed.

Junior doctors give up protest because they’re so f**king knackered

JUNIOR doctors have abandoned their strike action because they are just so f**king exhausted.