Horoscopes

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Aries (21 MAR-19 APR) Your life is uncanny – i.e. something a Geordie wouldn't like.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Aries (21 MAR-19 APR) You’re a massive science fiction fan but even you will admit the new Terminator Genisys trailer looks abismal.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB) You can tell if somebody likes butter by putting a buttercup under their chin but you're no longer allowed to see if people like the moon.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB) To mark Nigel Farage's candidacy in next year's election you're releasing a rap album called Fear Of A Black Thanet.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Disappointing news that inflation is up. Treating yourself to that Snickers bar will have to wait until the economy stabilises.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Libra (23 SEP-23 OCT) This is the week when every gamble will pay off. Actually, no, that was last week.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB) If you have one fault, it's that you're a perfectionite.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB) No word yet from the Secret Escapes website on how they can get your sister out of her seven-stretch in Holloway.