Horoscopes

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY)
God gave rock & roll to you. Gave rock & roll to you. And you turned it into U2.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY)
You’re thrown out of your local beauty clinic this week for asking if they’ve got any of that awesome-sounding laser hair they’re always removing.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG)
A roadside advert shows you've missed yet another gig from the popular band Fatal Collision.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)
Disappointment on Thursday as, after months of playing Slap Bass Guitar Hero, you manage to complete level 41 and it suddenly turns really shit.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY)
Gimme a ‘P’! Gimme a ‘s’! GImme a ‘y’! Gimme a ‘c’! Gimme a...hello? Are you still there?

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Aries (21 MAR-19 APR)
Oops! Psychic Bob is over capacity. Please wait a moment and try again. Or just try living your own life, for f*ck’s sake.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY)
Life’s too short to have regrets. Yours is, anyway.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Aries (21 MAR-19 APR)
You realise that Men In Black 3 is not only a dreadful sequel, it also describes the number American men whose bank accounts are in credit.