Horoscopes

Your Astrological Week Ahead

WITH PSYCHIC BOB

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

When you choose not to hide behind someone else, others will appreciate your candor and bravery. But they will still laugh at your tiny penis.

Your Astrological Week Ahead

WITH PSYCHIC BOB

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

You know your sweetie's favourite food and favourite movie, but do you know their deepest hopes and desires? Order those giant nappies now!

Your Astrological Week Ahead

WITH PSYCHIC BOB

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Your friends are teasing you about your safe – and – easy dating choices? At least when you pick them off a website and hire them you are guaranteed sex. Now who’s laughing?

Your Astrological Week Ahead

WITH PSYCHIC BOB

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Maybe you are not an artist, but you can still have fun making doodles. If a cutie asks what you are doing, ask them to sit for you. You might get to see pubes!
 

Your Astrological Week Ahead

WITH PSYCHIC BOB

Aries (21 MAR-19 APR)

Why not try something different this weekend. Visit an art gallery or a museum, and then get drunk and give a complete stranger a blow-job in an alley while he eats his chips.
 

Your Astrological Week Ahead

WITH PSYCHIC BOB

Aries (21 MAR-19 APR)

Your ego takes a little pounding early this week, but it won't destroy you. Just get back in that bush and wait for another lady to come along. You can do it!