Horoscopes

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Your interview with David Bowie starts badly when you point out that ‘Major’ Tom would actually have been ‘Squadron Leader’ Tom.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY) You should have a night off the booze but I’m not sure an 18-hour blackout really counts.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Enjoy your Easter weekend slapping chocolate out of the hands of your atheist friends and asking why they’re not at work.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Your nan fails to thank you this week for the sweater you get her with the ‘Do Not Resuscitate’ logo.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) You lose finally lose several pounds this week, when you have your foot amputated.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY) The death of Hugo Chavez hits you pretty hard until somebody tells you he wasn't a footballer.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) After buying a pin cushion you now have really comfortable pins.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY) Apparently, The Wonderstuff’s Size Of A Cow contains traces of Jethro Tull’s Heavy Horses.