Horoscopes
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Virgo (23 AUG-22 SEP)
Paying to join that uniform dating site proves a total waste of money as there’s nobody else on it dressed as a snowtrooper from Empire Strikes Back.
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Aries (21 MAR-19 APR)
Your television debut sees the family crowd around the TV at 3am to watch you dry hump a Nokia on Babestation.
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG)
It's called 'Avengers Assemble' presumably because 'Chronic Masturbators and Sociopaths Assemble' wouldn’t fit on the poster.
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Taurus (20 APRIL - 20 MAY)
Why not take a blurry black and white photo of your mandingo using
Instagram and get the whole office to coo over it by telling them it’s
an ultrasound of your firstborn kid?
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Aries (21 MAR-19 APR)
This week will be a series of unexpected journeys, meeting new
people and facing difficult challenges. Yes, you’re going to jail.
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Aries (21 MAR-19 APR)
Following the success of the Titanic anniversary voyage, you start
plans on a commemorative reconstruction of Amelia Earhart’s last flight
across the Pacific using a couple of box kites and a lawnmower engine.
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Aries (21 MAR-19 APR)
You’re right that deodorant is completely unnatural, but so is vomiting into my own hands on the top deck of an 82 bus, you malodorous git.
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Aries (21 MAR-19 APR)
Few takers this week as you promise to attend regional council meetings for local businessmen in return for a Big Mac meal.