Horoscopes

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) On Saturday you return your sausage dog to the pet shop, because the sausages he makes taste revolting.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Following The Sun’s decision to put a paywall on their website, you decide to put a padlock on your wheelie bin.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Sitting in a beer garden with a pint of lager and a fag – is there any better way to watch the sun come up?

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Aries (21 MAR-19 APR) Don’t hate the player, hate the game. Unless it’s golf, in which case hate both.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) It's a constant source of disappointment to you that Cape Town isn't full of superheroes.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY) Bad news from the adoption agency, after you asked if they had any non-union ones that could work a 12-hour shift.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY) Only by facing your fears can you overcome them. Unfortunately your fear is of faces.

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Sagittarius (22 NOV-21 DEC) This week, why not convince people you’re not a psychopath by not committing a string of sickening, psychotic murders 50 years ago?