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RECESSSION WILL TURN BRITAIN INTO 'BUNCH OF ARSEHOLES' |
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01-09-08 |
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THE economic downturn will lead to a sharp rise in people being arseholes, according to a leaked Home Office letter.
 Some typical British arseholes
Home secretary Jacqui Smith said she had not cleared the memo and insisted Britain was well placed to weather the economic storm without turning into 'arsehole-central'.
The letter states: "For the next three years everyone's going to be a bit of a prick. They'll be in a bad mood most of the time and absolutely nothing will be their fault.
"A lot of them will vote BNP and go on and on about 'greasy Polish bastards' and then buy dodgy fags from some Polish guy with an old Volvo.
"When you're not looking they'll have your wallet, your phone and your iPod and then claim we're all just victims of global economic circumstances and that stealing your stuff is actually a political statement.
"And yet, despite their poverty, they'll still have enough money to get hammered, before kicking seven shades of crap out of you because they were bored. What a bunch of arseholes."
The letter adds: "For God's sake make sure none of this is made public. As a government we've really got to stop saying how shit everything is."
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