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MORE CHOICE FOR COUPLES TO PRETEND THEY BELIEVE IN GOD |
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01-10-08 |
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THE Church of England is to offer couples greater choice on where they can lie about believing in God.
 Blah, blah Jesus whatever
But the new laws will mean couples can marry in the same church where their parents lied about believing in God, or where their grandparents told the truth about believing in God but had no idea why.
A spokesman said: "A church provides a beautiful setting to begin your married life with at least one gigantic piece of dishonesty.
"You can make your solemn vows and maintain that vital connection between the generations, even if that connection is little more than a series of bullshit promises based on nothing."
The spokesman added: "We don't expect everyone to become a regular churchgoer, but it would be nice if you could turn up from time to time and humour us while we go through our voodoo nonsense."
Charlie Reeves, who was married in a village church last month, said: "It was lovely. There was even a moment, with the choir singing and the sunlight streaming through the stained glass windows when I pondered the concept of a supreme being, and then I thought, 'nah, it's all bollocks - I wonder what time I'll be getting my end away'."
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