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PERFECT VAGINA INCLUDES VIDEO SCREEN AND CRISP DISPENSER, SAY MEN |
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11-11-09 |
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THE perfect vagina would have a built-in video player with a cheese and onion crisp dispenser attached to it, men said last night.
 A bowl of Wotsits can give you a second wind
Tom Logan, a vagina enthusiast from Stevenage, said: "When you're down below it can take a while to get things moving - especially, if like me, you're really not very good at it. You know, all thumbs and stubble.
"In these circumstances it would be quite nice if I was able to take a break, watch an episode of Porridge, catch-up on my emails and refuel with some Monster Munch."
He added: "If all these elements were integral to the vaginal area, I am sure I would soon become a dab hand at constructing orgasms."
Roy Hobbs, a part-time inventor from Peterborough said: "It's alright, I've drawn up some plans. This one is air-conditioned, has three speed settings and automatically remembers my favourite positions.
"It also has a range of snacks - from Wotsits to mini pork pies - it converts into a fold-out bed and it's attached to Penelope Cruz. I've called it the Ultra-Snatch 6000."
And Nathan Muir, a gym teacher from Darlington, added: "I'm trying to persuade my wife to get one that looks like Steve McQueen.
"I'm very confused."
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