'Not all millennials are unbearable arseholes' claims unbearable millennial arsehole

NOT all millennials are dreadful arseholes, one of them has insisted.

Rees-Mogg to turn back into puppet if he tells one more lie

JACOB Rees-Mogg has been warned that if he tells another lie he will turn back into a little wooden puppet.

Starving KFC diners searching for anywhere else that serves food in a bucket

HORDES of starving KFC regulars are searching for any other food outlet that will serve them meals in a bucket.

Dog feeling insecure after being dressed in little jacket

A DOG that has been dressed in a quilted jacket is out in the park feeling really unsure of himself.

Man who says he’s not ‘into relationships’ not being offered any

A MAN who is constantly telling people that he ‘doesn’t do relationships’ has not actually been offered one in years, it has been revealed.

'So it is actually chicken?' ask KFC customers

LOYAL KFC customers have been intrigued to discover the beige blobs they were eating were actually chicken.

Five creative ways to make someone else’s life event all about you 

Something great has happened in someone else’s life. This obviously cannot do, as it means the attention won’t be on you for a couple of days, maybe longer if they really milk it.  

Parents genuinely terrified by child’s latest finger paintings

A MOTHER and father are being tormented by the bone-chilling artwork created by their youngest child.