May confirms 'sense of optimism' actually means 'never-ending sea of piss'

THERESA May has confirmed the Brexit negotiations continue to be a ‘gigantic sea of piss’.

Men remain awkwardly divided over man hugs

MEN are split over where a full embrace is really an appropriate way to greet other males.

Story of journey to work told as if it were epic Viking saga

A MAN’S difficult journey through snow and ice to work has already taken on all the epic qualities of a Viking saga, colleagues have confirmed. 

Royal wedding off after Meghan realises Harry not Ed Sheeran

THE royal wedding has been cancelled after Meghan Markle discovered Harry is not actually Ed Sheeran.

Man turns fun snowman into pathetic ego trip

NO ONE is quite sure what a man was trying to prove by building a ridiculously large and detailed snowman.

Kid with sledge happily sets off to fracture ankle in two places

A 10-YEAR-OLD boy has set off with his sledge for a magical day that will end in A & E with a broken ankle.

Roads full of men with strong but conflicting opinions about how to drive on ice

MEN all know exactly how to drive on ice but strongly disagree about how it's done, it has emerged.

Woman who calls all her exes 'mental' hasn't realised she is common denominator

A WOMAN angry that none of her relationships ever work has failed to take into account that she comprises 50 per cent of them.