X Factor 'clearly still brimming with fresh ideas'

THE rise of Honey G has proved yet again that X Factor is a great show with lots of fresh and innovative ideas, viewers have agreed.

Man accidentally says 'she'd get it' while watching TV with his mum 


A MAN accidentally said 'she'd get it' while watching a television advert with his mother, it has been confirmed.

Labelling half the country whinging Remoaner twats not politically popular, discovers May

THE shock Richmond byelection result might be related to calling half of UK voters losers who should shut their traitor mouths forever, Conservative sources believe.

Hipster politician thinks Article 49 is really underrated

A HIPSTER politician has claimed that Article 49 of the Lisbon Treaty is actually a lot better than Article 50.

Woman already making space under stairs for bullshit healthy lifestyle gadget

A WOMAN who asked for a smoothie-maker for Christmas has found the perfect place for it to be stored and forgotten about.

Pissed off Christmas trees refusing to leave loft in protest at 2016

BRITISH Christmas trees have said they cannot face being in living rooms after such a hellish year.

Blair discovers centre ground is now a smouldering hole

FORMER prime minister Tony Blair has discovered the centre ground on which he was planning to build his new institute is now a large crater.

Newly arrived Spanish waiter pleased with by-election result

A SPANISH waiter, newly arrived in the UK, has said the Richmond Park by-election result has given him a sense of hope and relief.