Everyone f**king hates gardening

ANYONE who claims to enjoy gardening is a liar, it has emerged.

All life merely a figment of Leicester fan's imagination

ALL of human existence is the dream of a Leicester City fan and will expire the moment he wakes up.

Leicester fan one more win just trying one more win to get through one more win the weekend

LEICESTER fan Steve one more win Malley is just attempting one more win to get through an ordinary one more win weekend with the family.

Woman’s headache caused by every single aspect of her life

A WOMAN’S persistent headaches are caused by her job, commute, family life, relationship with her partner and hobbies, she has found.

Bus driver gives change from a tenner without being a twat about it

A BUS driver has given change from a £10 note without acting like it is a natural disaster.

Being ginger too high a price to pay for immortality

THE discovery that the ginger gene contains the secret of youthful looks has united the world in rejection of this Faustian bargain.

Friend-with-benefits votes to reduce benefits

A WOMAN has announced a unilateral reduction in benefits for her casual sexual partner.

Hercules the Lion resigns as Villa mascot

HERCULES The Lion will step down as Aston Villa's mascot following the club's relegation.