Met Office computer predicts weather and builds robot soldiers

THE Met Office has built a new supercomputer that can detect bad weather and send robots back in time to stop it.

Single man’s housework routine is applying to Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners

43-YEAR-OLD Tom Booker’s cleaning regime is repeatedly applying to a TV series where strangers come and sort it out.

McDonald’s unveils ‘at least it’s not a f*cking gourmet burger’ slogan

BURGER chain McDonald’s has a new slogan emphasising that at least its product is unpretentious.

I used a bad word about someone's mum on Twitter

All the boys at school claimed to have seen each others' mums breaking the scales at Weight Watchers.

Next person who says they are ‘loving’ something to get punched in the face

THE next individual to describe themselves as ‘loving’ this or that can be punched squarely in the face, the government has confirmed.

Wenger 'did not see station'

PLANS to make Arsene Wenger the voice of the London Underground have foundered after he failed to get a clear view of a single stop.

Villages’ quirky Halloween celebrations also involve human sacrifice

RURAL villages that mark Halloween with funny old-fashioned ceremonies always kill someone at the end, it has emerged.

Immigration poll reveals Daily Mail working like a charm

THE Daily Mail has welcomed a poll which shows just how incredibly wrong British people are about levels of immigration.