For future reference, I like sexy vampire movies, says Kim Jong Un

KIM Jong Un has told Hollywood to stick to sexually attractive vampires or he will have everyone killed.

Prescription drugs cause liberal outburst

A COMMITTED racist and homophobe has blamed pain-killing medication for a string of cogent arguments in favour of multi-culturalism and gay rights.

McCoist doomed to be Rangers manager for all eternity

AFTER unsuccessfully resigning, Ally McCoist has admitted that he has no idea how he can stop being Rangers manager.

Woman’s arty gift shop is a shrine to pointlessness

THE proprietor of a shop selling tasteful artisan gifts has realised it is all just so f*cking irrelevant.

I've been thinking I should adopt Kim Jong-un

I just worry he might be a bit grabby with the twins' Lego.

Video game quickly being made controversial

THE creators of a tedious, badly-designed computer game are hurriedly adding gratuitous sex and violence.

The Mash guide to cultural trends of 2015

A BRIEF guide to how things will change but stay the same in the coming year.

First female bishop appointed just 45 years after humans landed on moon

THE Church of England has managed to appoint a female bishop within half a century of humans setting foot on another world.