All junior doctors to retrain as brand managers

ALL 53,000 junior doctors are to retrain as corporate brand managers for the same pay and no working weekends.

Ask Holly: I'm torn between a Rampant Rabbit and backing the Brexit

WE'VE got a lovely little school rabbit called Nibbles who eats vegetables and does tiny poos everywhere.

Non-football fan discovers price of tickets then dies laughing

A MAN who does not like football died laughing after discovering the price of a ticket.

Woman giving up religion for Lent

A WOMAN has pledged to abstain from Christianity for forty days, it has emerged.

PE teacher pretending to have read and understood Jane Eyre

SCHOOL staff shortages forced a PE teacher to pretend he’s read Jane Eyre, it has emerged.

Drink-Uber limit lowered

THE legal blood-alcohol level for Uber users has been lowered after serious damage to passenger ratings.

Tories are like that precisely because nobody kissed them

THE Conservative party is founded on lonely nights at school discos, it has emerged.

Children’s books designed to make adults sound like idiots

CHILDREN’S books are written specifically to make the adults reading them aloud sound like idiots, it has emerged.