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  • Google to pay £2bn fine by blackmailing you about your search history
  • Glass of red wine about to be placed on carpet by idiot
  • Brexit talks end as Google abolishes EU
  • Man just going to ignore new girlfriend’s belief in reincarnation
  • Big beard and tattoos no longer a sign that you're hard
  • Just f**k off out of it, May tells voters
  • Office like one big family where everyone hates each other
  • I love money, confirms Queen
  • Because I’m worth it, says May