40 of the UK's best-ever tellings-off.
DOCTOR Who assistants Amy and Rory Pond are to die after being left locked in a poorly-ventilated Tardis.
"It's so scary you're going to literally poo yourself," says horror master Stephen King.
Britain's badgers have told the Department of Agriculture that they'd better come tooled up.
Superfast mobile technology will be 'proper job', say council chiefs.
"It made me into a supercharged fanny magnet," says shocked political journalist.