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Saturday, 25 May 2013
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News Briefly

Smart money investing in stupid hats


Cash machines to feature Gwyneth Paltrow going on and on about Africa


Abramovich begins search for new person who must win every match or be fed to leopards


Britain overtakes Somalia as Bafta handed to tawdry Essex shitfest


Wayne Rooney is young, working class man, say experts


Sorry Queen offers to return Wogan


Cheaper to kill brown people than feed them, says Fox


Huhne says ex-wife is biggest liar since No to AV Campaign


  • Blue commits ritual suicide
  • Emin voted Tory 'to get better deal for foxes'
  • Laws denied chance to claim rent in prison
  • Mummified Maori head returned after museum staff realise what it is
  • Duchess of Cambridge having sexual intercourse
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