News Briefly

Team GB fans reclaim the term 'golden shower'
Ambiguous phrase perfectly describes medals success, say jubilant supporters.

Yorkshire Olympians' medals due to being coached at school by Brian Glover
The shiny-pated actor/PE teacher instilled terror of failure into young Jessica Ennis.

Dead whale found on beach was strangled
Police hunting someone with massive hands.

Commodore 64 is fat and bitter at 30
Faded 8-bit machine claims computer industry 'all about politics'.

Nation standing by Grant Bovey
Disbelieving public says: "There's no way this guy could be a sleazebag. No way."

Hot, sunny weather makes working in an office 84% more frustrating
You cannot go outside because you have to do things on a computer, say bosses.

Happiness 'depends on person's distance from Birmingham'
PUTTING a few hundred miles between yourself and Midlands' capital drastically enhances wellbeing, according to new research.

Far-right groups announce 'Love Music, Also Quite Like Racism' concerts
Open-air gigs to spread message of hate and separateness.